Omegle’s spy mode is fabulous.

Here’s the question I gave tonight. I thought it would be amusing to see what people would do if the two biggest things to ask for on Omegle were suddenly disallowed. My favourite answers under the cut. <3 Ok they were gonna be under a cut but I guess Tumblr feels like breaking that code tonight.

Too long/nsfw to bother capping:

• a really long but mostly uneventful where they planned to cyber, decided against it after asking ASL, and then talked about grammar and weed.
• a discussion about penis/ball size in relation to car owned.
• text art of goatse

Instant d/c count: 30

Stranger: SWAG
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: BIEBER
Stranger: SWAG
Stranger: SWAG
Stranger: SWAG
You: /yawn
Stranger: U MAD BRO
You: nope
You: are you?
Stranger: SWAG
You: k
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think they were mad. :(

Starting all of my conversations with “inb4 asl.” Here’s my results:

• 19 people who gave me or asked for ASL
• 1 person asking for nudes
• 1 person offering nudes
• 1 person looking for cybersex
• 8 immediate disconnects
• 1 person who just said “m” (to which I recited the alphabet and then they d/ced)
• 1 person also avoiding creeps
• 1 person twice in a row
• 4 people who thought I was a Beiber fan because they said “swag” over and over until I said it back. (wat?)
• 1 person looking for “ray”
• 1 person who liked my experiment
• 2 endless silences
• 1 question in horribly mangled English
• 1 person who was quicker on the draw than me and asked for “asl” before my inb4
• 1 foreign language
• 1 person who kept saying “bye” then d/ced

Also this:

Stranger: do you know what eejit means?
You: how hicks pronounce idiot?
Stranger: YES.

You: Hnnnggg…..
Stranger: asl
You: WRONG PASSWORD
You: BITCH
You have disconnected.

NO ASL FOR YOU. >:C

You: oh hello
Stranger: Hi. Didn’t see you over there.
You: Yeah, people tend to not notice me
You: Being dead and all.
Stranger: Oh. are you not alive anymore?
You: Well yeah. The semi-transparency didn’t give it away?
Stranger: Like I said, I didn’t really notice
You: Huh. well. Cool then.
You: How’s life?
Stranger: Life is good. I bet you miss it
You: I do.
You: I miss ice cream
You: And cheeseburgers
You: And generally having tastebuds
Stranger: Well if you want to even up the field i could burn all of mine off really quick
You: Wouldn’t that hurt?
You: I’ve kind of forgotten what pain feels like.
Stranger: Yes it would…but we could relate to each other
You: I suppose so.
Stranger: want me to?
You: Only if you want to. I’m not much into the whole Roar, do my ghostly bidding thing.
You: I know some guys who do that
You: They’re dicks.
Stranger: oh, well i wont do it then
Stranger: so how did you die?
You: Well….
You: It’s kind of embarassing
Stranger: go on…tell it
You: I was stabbed.
You: In the neck
You: …with a toothpick
Stranger: more honorable than how my uncle died
You: How’d he die?
Stranger: he choked while eating a snack pack
You: Oh. Damn.
You: That’s actually more common that you’d think
You: Lot of guys over here who died like that.
Stranger: like who?
You: Neh, you probably haven’t heard of any of ‘em. Mostly obscure, had-no-place-in-history sorts.
You: They’re our kind of emo.
Stranger: do you fit in the emo group?
You: Not really. I just sit here and people-watch.
You: It’s fun.
You: Becuase I don’t look like a creeper
Stranger: but did you have a place in history?
You: Not really, no.
You: I’m just normal.
Stranger: i’m not going out like that. i won’t go out normal
You: Gonna go out with a bang? If you lose limbs, you won’t get them back over here.
Stranger: Well, I’m hoping to win a nobel peace prize, or become president. but if all else fails, then i could just shoot up a shopping mall. People will not forget my name.
You: Try for the former first. Cause if you kill any kids, you’ll be about as well-recieved as you would be in prison. Unless you hang out with the other ones. but they’re creepy.
Stranger: Well, Im kind of a lone wolf. I dont need anyone
You: Hey, whatever works for you.
Stranger: Yeah.
You: Being dead already, I don’t much care if living people die. More company.
Stranger: I understand
You: Well.
You: Good luck with your life.
You: And your bang.
Stranger: Oh. Im going out with a bang alright

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sometimes, people on Omegle are really awesome.